


The Weight Of Reality

by StrawberryBasketCase



Category: Panic! at the Disco
Genre: Angst, F/F, Fluff, M/M, Sad, Sad Ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-27
Updated: 2017-02-27
Packaged: 2018-09-27 04:35:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,421
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9965075
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StrawberryBasketCase/pseuds/StrawberryBasketCase
Summary: Like they say, "You can't have your cake and eat it too."Brendon finds out the hard way that no matter how hard you wish for things to go your way...life doesn't always go as planned.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Heya babies!!! Fic number 12!!!!
> 
> I've just been writing up a storm for you all recently. Here's another quick one shot to tie you over til I update some more. Its sad yet still sweet.
> 
> Enjoy!

It was late at night as Brendon toss and turned. He was having another nightmare. “No!” He gasped as he jumped up. Brendon was covered in sweat as he tried to get his breathing under control.

“Babe you alright?” Sarah asked groggily as she turned over to look at him.

“Y-yeah I'm good just having a bad dream.” Brendon sighed as he wiped his face.

“Is it the same one sweetie?” Sarah sat up and rubbed her eyes. “I told you that no matter what you’re great on your own Brendon. You don't need them okay?” She tried to make him feel better.

“Yeah I know baby.” Brendon smiled and kissed her. “I'm just gonna go get something to drink. Now go back to bed.” He said as he got out of bed. “And thanks babe for cheering me up.” He added when he made it to the doorway.

“No problem sweetie. And don't be long cause you need your sleep too.” Sarah smiled as she laid back down to go to sleep. That smile always made Brendon’s heart explode. Especially when she directed it towards him, it was like he was falling in love with her all over again.

“I won't.” Brendon said as he left the room. He needed a drink alright, but something a lot stronger than some damn warm milk. He went to his bar and made a few shots. He felt bad that he never told Sarah the truth about his nightmares. As far as she knew it was just about his anxiety about being left alone in the band. But it was more than that much more.

Brendon downed the shots as he felt the tears beginning to fall. The real reason behind the nightmares was that one person left him. The only one that ever mattered. That day seems to forever replay in his mind.

It was sunny like usual and Brendon was cleaning up the house while he awaited his special guest to arrive. Sarah was out with her friends and she always stayed out late with them. She had her routines for when Brendon was away on tours and he didn't want her to change just because he was home for a few weeks. Besides they could spend time together anytime. It was rare for him to get time alone so he chose to spend it with the love of his life. Well make that the second love of his life. 

A knock came on the door as he was just finishing up in the living room. “Coming!” Brendon called as he did his final check in the mirror. He wore tight leather pants with a loose animal print button up. His hair wasn't as fluffy but perfect all the same. It was simple yet sexy. “Hey baby.” Brendon grinned when he opened the door.

“H-hey Bren.” Dallon said meekly. He was the same tall sexy glass of water as always. Yet his face showed uncertainty. Brendon knew where this was going, but he was great when it came to changing his mind.

“No need to be shy. Come in Dally.” Brendon pulled Dallon inside and sat him down on the couch. He then straddled him while he peppered kisses on his face. That always got him out of his funk. “Sarah’s out with her friends so we can spend all day together.” Brendon grinned as he rubbed his fingers through his hair.

“B…” Dallon said.

“First we could go at it. Here or the bedroom. It's your choice.” Brendon giggled as he kissed his neck.

“B-bren….” Dallon tried.

“Then we can watch a movie.” Brendon licked his lips.

“Brendon...wait.” Dallon interjected.

“And after that we can have a candlelit dinner.” Brendon snuggled into him.

“W-wait…” Dallon shifted underneath him.

“Finally we can cap off the day with a nice hot bubble bath for two with champagne.And who know maybe we can have bath sex.” Brendon wiggled his eyebrows with a grin.

“BRENDON LISTEN TO ME!” Dallon yelled as he grabbed Brendon by the shoulders.

“WHY!? YOU NEVER SAY ANYTHING I WANNA HEAR!” Brendon snapped suddenly. Dallon frowned as he remained quiet.“I-I'm sorry baby I didn't mean that. I love you and we can be so happy together if you just let us be.” Brendon quickly added as tears formed in his eyes.

“Brendon…..babe you know we can't do this...unless you choose.” Dallon replied sadly as he wiped his tears away. He hated to make Brendon cry, but they couldn't keep up this charade forever.

“Why must I choose! You know I love you!” Brendon pushed away from him. “Please let's just enjoy today Dal…...daddy.” He pleaded while kneeling in front of him. Dallon smiled and held his hands tight. They both knew how much they adored Brendon’s daddy kink.

“And after today what do you suppose we do princess? We can't put this off forever.” Dallon didn't like this anymore than Brendon. Yet he didn’t want to play the side man forever. Brendon just cried in Dallon’s lap. He then pulled his little princess into his lap. “I know….I understand that you can't choose between me and her. And I never meant for it to get this far, but it did.” Dallon cradled a devastated Brendon. “Don't worry you won't have to decide anymore.” He smiled.

“R-really!? Then we can still-” Brendon looked up hopefully.

“No…..I decide for you….and I'm going to go back to being your….best friend.” Dallon let the tears that he tried so hard to fight off, fall down his face.

“So….y-your leaving me?” Brendon was shocked. Dallon opened his mouth to say something only from Brendon to interrupt. “NO...PLEASE YOU CAN'T DO THIS!!!....DALLON YOU PROMISED TO LOVE ME!” He screamed as he pounded on his chest. His pain flooded his whole being. Brendon didn't know what to do without him.

“Bren I never said I’d stop loving you. I couldn't stop if I tried….please believe that I never meant to hurt you….” Dallon kissed him sweetly on the lips. “I think I better get going now.” He stood up, but Brendon didn't let go. He carried him to the door before he couldn't deal with it anymore. “Bren you gotta let me go…” He didn't want to be heartless, but if he stayed then he’d only prolong the obvious.

“No! I-I can't just let you go...please Dal weren't we happy!?” Brendon cried as he held on tighter to him. Dallon kissed his head and slowly let him down on the floor. “ You were happy and I…….was happy for you.” He didn't want to crush him anymore than he already was. Brendon knew what he meant and the damage was already done. “I'll see you at the next show okay?” Dallon kissed him again. This time Brendon was determine to let him feel everything he was feeling at that moment. They clung to each other for dear life as their mouth’s knew all too well how to make each other feel better. 

After some time they finally broke for air. They stared deep in each other’s eyes. Neither Brendon nor Dallon wanted this to end, but they knew better. Dallon needed to find someone to love just for him. And Brendon needed learn that he couldn't have it all.

“Goodbye Brendon.” Dallon smiled as he tried to keep from breaking down. He had to do this for the best of both of them. Weather he liked it or not.

“B-bye…..Dallon.” Brendon held his hand tight. He wanted to pull him in and enjoy their special day together like he planned. Yet this was what was really happening today and he couldn't change it. So he accepted it as he slowly released his hand. With tears on his face he watched Dallon drive away. Though they would still have the band it wasn't the same. It felt more like they were never gonna see each other again.

Brendon felt tears fall down his face. He looked down at his half empty shot glass. When he drank it, he noticed it was actually his tears that was in it. Kinda ironic because since that day he metaphorically ate his feeling, but now he did it literally. Brendon giggled to himself at that thought as he poured another shot of gin.

“Here’s to the good times Dally boy.” Brendon raised his glass before he drank it down. He then cried silently at his bar.

**Author's Note:**

> So.....what you guys think?
> 
> *crickets*
> 
> Yeah....it was pretty heartbreaking I know......
> 
> #sorrynotsorry (^~^)
> 
> Comments, Kudos, and thanks in advance!
> 
> Seeya on the flip side!


End file.
